[ ‘It’s okay if it’s just me’, ‘I can take it’, ‘it’s what I can do best’ - all words that echo in his head as Yuji tries to put the pieces together. It was a rash decision, but one that he thinks he made with logic. It made sense to him.
But Choso is right too. It’s not worth hurting his brother over. ]
Onii-san… I’m the only thing I have left to sacrifice for my goals. That’s okay to me… Sorry.
[ he cannot stop yuji on the battlefield, cannot fathom trying to stop him in motion, but in this, in these little sacrifices made to the name of a corporation that has scooped them out of their reality, in this choso lets his voice find iron, lets his grip on yuji grow tight. ]
[ He sinks into Choso more, allows himself to feel that iron grip, just strong enough that it comes through the haze of feeling and awkwardness of the operation. He can’t make Choso go through this again. He can’t. No matter what.
[ But it is, because that’s what he feels he deserves. Wiggling, he shuffles his aching body so he can press his face into Choso’s chest and breathe in the damp iron smell. Brother. Home. ]
[ which we? yuji's brothers? or the uncountable many who love this one supernova wrapped up into a boy's skin? ]
Right now, we're safe. You're safe.
[ if he hadn't dried himself out like a damn prune at bakugo earlier, this might be a much wetter conversation. lucky. with yuji curled in close, choso lets himself relax, rubbing a broad hand down yuji's back in soothing strokes. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ relief makes him boneless, makes him lie limp and unmoving around this small, warm brick of a body. ]
Don’t go back there, Yuji.
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[ Self-inflicted pain... Carrying it for the others... ]
I don't think there are any more upgrades I want. This... It hurt a lot. I feel so sick. It's not worth it, is it?
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I felt you change. I felt the change.
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[ Closing his eyes, he sighs. ]
Any pain would be worth it to beat him.
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LILITH is no friend of ours, Yuji.
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But Choso is right too. It’s not worth hurting his brother over. ]
Onii-san… I’m the only thing I have left to sacrifice for my goals. That’s okay to me… Sorry.
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[ he cannot stop yuji on the battlefield, cannot fathom trying to stop him in motion, but in this, in these little sacrifices made to the name of a corporation that has scooped them out of their reality, in this choso lets his voice find iron, lets his grip on yuji grow tight. ]
LILITH will not touch you again.
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[ He sinks into Choso more, allows himself to feel that iron grip, just strong enough that it comes through the haze of feeling and awkwardness of the operation. He can’t make Choso go through this again. He can’t. No matter what.
He kisses his brother’s forehead gently. ]
I’ll do better.
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[ lips on his forehead, a warm presence. ]
Don’t use yourself up before I can save you.
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[ Things he’ll always blame himself for. ]
You don’t have to save me.
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If I am worth protecting, then so too are you.
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[ He’s really trying… Face nuzzling into him, hands gripping him, wanton for warmth. ]
It… No. It’s fine.
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[ grating, ragged, but he holds all the tighter like an apology. ]
Stop rushing to die.
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[ But it is, because that’s what he feels he deserves. Wiggling, he shuffles his aching body so he can press his face into Choso’s chest and breathe in the damp iron smell. Brother. Home. ]
I want to stay with everyone.
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[ which we? yuji's brothers? or the uncountable many who love this one supernova wrapped up into a boy's skin? ]
Right now, we're safe. You're safe.
[ if he hadn't dried himself out like a damn prune at bakugo earlier, this might be a much wetter conversation. lucky. with yuji curled in close, choso lets himself relax, rubbing a broad hand down yuji's back in soothing strokes. ]