[ A world and a lifetime away, Choso must let go of his baby brother so that he may live, assured by the knowledge that the power in Yuji’s hands will carry him forward, ever forward.
Here, however, Choso holds tight when Yuji collapses into him. Arms rise from the sea of blankets to hold the teen close, a warm palm cupping the back of a pink head, solid cybernetic curling careful but firm around shaking shoulders. The haze of sleep gives way to a burgeoning panic, and as Choso curls his body around that of his little brother’s, he feels a sympathetic prickle at the corners of his eyes, a burn high up in his sinuses as that familiar little fist forms in his throat like a threat. ]
[ Yuji can't let go, not even for a moment - he can't even breathe without little hiccuping sobs coming out, startling him with the intensity of it. The sheer horror and grief he feels at the loss of Choso is mingled with the relief of knowing that he won - but at what cost?
The cost of his brother's life? Why not his own, in that bargain? Why couldn't he have done something to save Choso, in return? Why couldn't he do something to save him?
[ their positions reversed, choso tries to pull yuji off of him enough to hear his muffled voice, his own pitched as low and warm as those last moments shelled in searing blood. ]
You went home and came back home. You’ve been busy, little brother, but come here; I can hardly hear you. Breathe, and come here.
[ what does it mean for them that the gap between knowing and not has grown so wide? whatever it be, it’s none of choso’s concern.
here in the hush of LILITH’s night, there is only yuji. ]
[ It's hard to pull himself away, to do anything except sob into Choso's chest, to grip at him as if afraid he might disappear and become nothing - but he has to, because Choso is holding onto him.
Protecting him, even now, and surely - sure he doesn't deserve it. ]
[ Yuji can't help the way he's shaking, gripping on to his brother with all the strength he has, in the way he thinks he should've done in that fight - it makes him want to sink his teeth in and not let go, to make sure that Choso is real, nails digging in, brutal and harsh, it hurts so much...
But he stops himself.
Instead, he sniffles, swallowing the horrible feeling inside. ]
[ looking at yuji, choso cannot help but think of that hollow month, where the dying warmth of september bled into the chill of october and the deaths of his brothers weighed on every step until he could only follow in mahito’s wake like a shadow. grief made of him a barbed and horrid thing, and to see it again on yuji’s young face, it is an ache in choso’s heart, it is a fist in the well of his ribs.
he lets yuji hold tight, and grips back in return. ]
For as long as you want me to.
[ like he has any say in it, like his presence here hasn’t been an exercise in small, daily miracles. like LILITH has its shit together enough to keep him at all. ]
You’re okay, Yuji. I am okay. This is all I can promise right now.
[ Grief, boundless, painful, agonising - he holds on to his brother without the strength to let go, without the ability to have him slip from his fingers, and all he can do is shiver with his sadness and his hurt.
He holds on to Choso and breathes out, sharply, as if the task itself was impossible. ]
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Here, however, Choso holds tight when Yuji collapses into him. Arms rise from the sea of blankets to hold the teen close, a warm palm cupping the back of a pink head, solid cybernetic curling careful but firm around shaking shoulders. The haze of sleep gives way to a burgeoning panic, and as Choso curls his body around that of his little brother’s, he feels a sympathetic prickle at the corners of his eyes, a burn high up in his sinuses as that familiar little fist forms in his throat like a threat. ]
Yuji? What has happened? What’s wrong?
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The cost of his brother's life? Why not his own, in that bargain? Why couldn't he have done something to save Choso, in return? Why couldn't he do something to save him?
Why do they keep losing each other? ]
I went home... I remembered...
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You went home and came back home. You’ve been busy, little brother, but come here; I can hardly hear you. Breathe, and come here.
[ what does it mean for them that the gap between knowing and not has grown so wide? whatever it be, it’s none of choso’s concern.
here in the hush of LILITH’s night, there is only yuji. ]
I have you. You’re okay.
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Protecting him, even now, and surely - sure he doesn't deserve it. ]
Choso... You're gone.
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why else? in a battle where the price was life, choso would pay with his own time and again if it meant yuji could walk away from it alive. ]
But I’m here now. Yuji, look at me— I’m here, right now.
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But he stops himself.
Instead, he sniffles, swallowing the horrible feeling inside. ]
For how long?
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he lets yuji hold tight, and grips back in return. ]
For as long as you want me to.
[ like he has any say in it, like his presence here hasn’t been an exercise in small, daily miracles. like LILITH has its shit together enough to keep him at all. ]
You’re okay, Yuji. I am okay. This is all I can promise right now.
no subject
[ Grief, boundless, painful, agonising - he holds on to his brother without the strength to let go, without the ability to have him slip from his fingers, and all he can do is shiver with his sadness and his hurt.
He holds on to Choso and breathes out, sharply, as if the task itself was impossible. ]